TO BRAHMS

Five hours after I saw her
for the last time, I went
to rehearsal, the conductor told
a story of two children who
wanted their father to play violin
again. They gave him a record of
Brahms_ violin concerto without
the violin. Unknowingly, and with
anticipation, the father absorbed the long
introduction and when he heard nothing
where the violin solo should have been
his heart failed from the shock of
unfulfilled expectation.

The oboe solo in the Adagio made
a moment in that rehearsal expand
to mean everything I was afraid to say
a single leaf floating
far above ground
a sometimes accompanied
solitude. I cried that night, for her,
for me, and for the heart
that lived such loneliness
as I had felt.

— john yancura