NICKY

In my experience from going out into bars and nightclubs I can tell you there is always some fucker named "Nicky" around. While I am at home going through the pages of the Victoria's Secret catalogue I stole from my neighbor's mailbox, he is watching his beautiful girlfriend cook dinner for him. When I am sitting at the bar in the hour before people actually go out to that bar, he is tying his shoes after making love for hours. Just when I think I have said something funny to the bartender the bartender looks the other way and shouts "Nicky!" as Nicky walks in and it's as if I had never said a word to anyone in the world since the fifth grade when I was a King.

— stephen gibson